Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
