He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize