There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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