the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize