so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize