my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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