stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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