Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
