My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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