So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
