The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Sorry my hands just texted you
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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