Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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