She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Randomize
