can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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