This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
