I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
