Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
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