Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I showed him my bush... on skype.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
