So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
