I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
