Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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