There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
