These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
