Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
