Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Fuck me I smell like cheese
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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