why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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