Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
