The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
