i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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