Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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