So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
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I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
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Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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