i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
