Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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