just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
