No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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