i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
