i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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