I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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