The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
