Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
