Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
