God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize