I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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