I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
