omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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