friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
