Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
