This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
