got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
