And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
