A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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