Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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