We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
