I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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