the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
