Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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